have three dimensions. One is that of dependence; that’s what happens to the
majority of people. The husband is dependent on the wife, the wife is dependent
on the husband; they exploit each other, they dominate each other, they possess
each other, they reduce each other to a commodity. In 99% of cases, that’s what
is happening in the world. That’s why love, which can open the gates of
paradise, opens only the gates of hell.
The second possibility is love between two independent persons. That too happens once in a while. But that too brings misery, because there is constant conflict. No adjustment is possible; both are so independent and nobody is ready to compromise, to adjust with the other.
artists, thinkers, scientists, those who live in a kind of independence, at
least in their minds, are impossible people to live with, they are eccentric
people to live with. They give freedom to the other, but their freedom looks
more like indifference than like freedom, looks more as if they don’t care, as
if it doesn’t matter to them. They leave each other to their own space. Relationship
seems to be only superficial; they are afraid to go deeper into each other
because they are more attached to their freedom than to love, and they don’t
want to compromise.
And the third possibility is of interdependence. That happens very rarely, but whenever it happens a part of paradise falls on the earth. Two persons, neither independent nor dependent but in tremendous synchronicity, as if breathing for each other, one soul in two bodies – whenever that happens, love has happened. Call only this love. The other two are not really love, they are just arrangements – social, psychological, biological, but arrangements. The third is something spiritual.